I'd like to play a game with you
by ParaMia
Summary: Ichigo and his friends are trapped in a dream-again! In order to wake up they must fulfill various tasks including fights against salsa-dancing Espada, Bratwurst-eating Bounts& whatever the hell Shinigami like to do in their free time... CRACK OVERLOAD!


**Summary: Somebody (unknown) has another awesome dream with our favourite people in it. In order to wake up they have to get the Snow Crystal (sounds familiar, eh?) by fighting against their enemies - but not in a way we are used to. Let's say: our handsome shopkeeper likes playing games... weird games...**

**CRACK CRACK CRACK-IDY CRACK**

**I don't own anything. Not even the concept/idea with the dream (me so embarrassingly uncreative), but I just like watching the strawberry being tortured ;)**

* * *

Ichigo slowly opened his eyes, but he couldn't recognize anything or anyone around him. Shapes were blurry and sallow and the few noises that managed to hit his ears were merely dull

_'I must have hit my head'_ he thought and took a deep breath. _'Luckily I don't feel any pain'_

The orange-haired boy blinked a few more times and tried to adjust his eyes to his extraordinary situation.  
_'I'm lying on a hard ground… Looks like a concrete floor. Damn – what the hell is going on?_' he thought and groaned inside. Slowly and cautiously he moved until he was able to support the weight of his upper body on his elbows and lower arms.

Immediately the muffled noises in his ear became louder '_I know these voices!'_  
Suddenly he felt a firm grip around his right, upper arm and he was turned around.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Ichigo now looked into the faces of his friends – Orihime, Chad and Uryu (although the latter would probably deny such a thing called 'friendship', because Quincy and Shinigami simply cannot be buddies and blah blah blah…)

"Inoue!" Ichigo heard himself saying. '_My body functions are coming back!'_

"Thank god, you're awake!" the orange-haired girl said and smiled cheerfully

"Yeah…" Ichigo said and rubbed his head "Anyway, where the hell are we? And how did we get here?"

"Of course there's no answer to that, Kurosaki" Uryu answered and straightened the side of his glasses

"No answer? What the-"

"You haven't realized it yet? Oh yeah, of **course**… who am I to think that your brain could get it"

"Get what? I JUST WOKE UP!" carrot-top shouted '_Damn this know-it-all Quincy…'_

"Well then, even you should have realized that we are wearing rather odd clothes, are we?" Uryu asked with a little smirk on his face.

Finally Ichigo realized that his friends indeed wore untypical garments.

"Wh-What the…?" he stuttered.

"These, Kurosaki, are so called '**Lederhosen'**" Uryu said and with his wooden staff he pointed at his and Chad's brown trousers.  
_'Where the heck did that a wooden staff come from?'_ Ichigo became more and more confused.

"They are quite popular in Austria and in South Germany. Look, yours even got a cute, little edelweiss embroidered on it!" the dark-blue-haired boy stated and pointed at Ichigo's crotch (o.O)

"WHO DID THAT TO ME?" Ichigo jumped up and looked down on him "It looks hideous!" he whined

"I think... you look fabulous" Chad murmured and ignored the confused look his friend gave him.

"This" Uryu began and pointed at Orihime "is a pretty dress called a '**Dirndl'**"  
Orihime smiled and bowed.

"Oh my god, it looks soooooooo pwetty, I wish I had invented it!" Uryu said and happily rubbed the fabric against his cheek. Ichigo could swear that he saw tears in his eyes. He looked at Orihime's green-white dress and _damn_, he'd never thought that her boobs could look any bigger!

'_Stop looking like an idiot, stop it, stop it, stop it! You're a maaaan_!' he told himself and shook his head.

"Do you like it Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime asked in her squeaky voice and a deep blush on her cheeks appeared.

"Uh..uhm. Yeah, it's nice. So, what should we do now?" Ichigo asked and suddenly realized that they were now surrounded by huge trees; the concrete floor transformed into grassland

"I don't know" Uryu answered and adjusted the hat on his head "Do you like my '**Trachtenhut'**? It's so cool!" he said pointed at his weird headpiece

"Yeah…. _So_ cool… but still… I NEED AN ANSWER!" Ichigo started to lose his patience

"Calm down, Ichigo! It's just another dream…" Chad answered

"He's right Kurosaki-kun! Just enjoy the sunny day and the fact that somebody gave us these beautiful clothes!"

"B-b-but, I was having a fight with Ulquiorra?"

"Ulquiorra? That boy who looked like the lead singer of a teenage screamo-band? Oh.. he's already dead." Uryu shrugged his shoulder

"Yes, did you forget Kurosaki-kun? He made '**POOF**!' and disappeared into ashes or whatever" Orihime added and chewed on a sausage

"Where did you get **that**?" Ichigo asked skeptically and pointed at the sausage with his index finger

"I don't know! It's just a dream, remember?" Orihime smiled "Do you want a bite of my Bratwurst?" she asked and stretched it towards his mouth

"Uhhh – no thanks!" the boy shook his head and thanked god that it wasn't Uryu or Chad, who asked him if he wants their… _sausages… 'Uggghh!'_ he shrugged '_What the hell am I thinking?'_

Before he could ask another question (that nobody could really answer), they heard a loud voice echoing through the trees  
"HELLO lady, gentlemen and Ichigo!" it greeted

"Urahara! Is that you?" orange-head gasped and didn't even realize that he'd been mocked

"Of course it's me! Who else has such a graceful, sexy voice, if not yours truly?" they heard him cackle.

"Where are you?"

"Can't tell you, since I have no idea myself." Urahara answered in an amused way

"What do you want?"

"I want to play a game with you!" - for a weird reason it seemed like a cheap horror movie

"I bet you want to wake up, right Ichigo?"

"Yes, of course I do!"

"Well then you have to come and get the snow crystal!"

"The SNOW CRYSTAL? AGAIN?"

"Muahahahahahahaa! Ha ha ha ha! Fuahahaha har har harrrr!"

"Urahara-san, is everything okay?" Orihime asked sorrowfully.

"Sure, pretty lady. So. In order to get the beautiful, extraordinary, white, powerful, sexy crystal – " '_How the hell can a crystal be sexy?'_ "- you have to fulfill tasks. You're going to have several competitions with your former enemies"

"Former - … How?"

"The games will be based on their nations. Right now, you're wearing '**Tracht'**. People in the middle of Europe love those _things_. Guess who your first group of enemiesis!" Urahara grinned (Yeah, they could _feel_ his grin).

"Your handsome game master now says '**Sayonara'** and I hope you'll win against them... Because let's be honest – those episodes were boring as hell. Oh! And Orihime-chan – nice cleavage!"

And the voice faded.

"What the hell was he talking about?"

"Enemies?"

"Europe?"

"My cleavage?"

"ICHIGO KUROSAKI! …and friends."

The three of them turned around and spotted several people, who all smirked at them.

_'I know them…'_ Ichigo thought. '_Could it be-? Oh __**NO'**__  
_

"Jin Kariya" he whispered and looked at the white-haired man standing in the front.

"Long time no see, right?" Kariya grinned.

Right then, Ichigo realized that the Bounts wore funny '**Tracht'** clothes as well.

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